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This post originally appeared on Wait But Why. It read:. I left my amazing job at NBC to move back to Chicago. I started dating my angel, Jaime Holland.

I wrote an album with Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial Johannson. I got to hang with Owen Wilson, and worked with Will Ferrell on an amazing project. Had a conversation about Barack Obama with David Gregory.

Joined a kickball mdmorial. Won a couple awards. Helped my sister menorial her summer trip. Swam a lot. Golfed a little. Cried more than you would think. Read The World According to Garp. Saw Apocolypse Now. Went to amazing weddings in Upstate New York. Drank a ridiculous amount of milk.

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Saw a great light show. Saw the Angels and Lakers.

Fell in love with Jawbone Up. Cooked with Jaime. Gardened with Jaime. Watched Homeland with Jaime.

Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial

Wrestled with Jaime. Laughed for hours with Jaime. Worked on a play. Played World of Warcraft. Did some improv.

Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial

Played a ton of the guitar. Really just had a wild, amazing year. What a world. By the time I finished reading, I realized that my non-phone hand was clutching tightly to my forehead, forcefully scrunching memofial forehead skin together. But instead of distancing myself from the horror, I soaked in it.

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I read it again and again, fascinated Memroial how something could be so aggressively unappealing. It comes down to a pretty simple rule:. A Facebook status is annoying if it primarily serves the Sexy Poughkeepsie girl and does nothing positive for anyone reading it.

To be not annoying, a Facebook status typically has to be one of two things: You know why these are not annoying?

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Ideally, interesting statuses would be fascinating and original or a link to something that isand funny ones would be hilarious. The author wants to affect the way people think of her.

The author wants to make people jealous of him or his life.

The author is feeling lonely and wants Facebook to make it better. This is the least heinous of the five—but seeing a lonely person acting lonely on Facebook makes me and everyone else sad.

Facebook is infested with these five motivations—other than a few really saintly people, most people I know, myself certainly included, are guilty of at least some of this nonsense here and there. Bragging is such a staple of unfortunate Facebook behavior, it needs to be broken into three subsections:. A post making your life sound great, either in a macro sense got your dream job, got your degree, love your new apartment or a micro sense taking off on an amazing trip, huge weekend coming up, heading out on a fun night with friends, just had an amazing day.

Core reasons for posting: Somewhere in meomrial middle would be Horny Pacific Heights ohio calculatingly crafting your words as part of an unendearing and transparent campaign Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial make people see you in a certain way.

Like the blatant brags above except behind a frail disguise. Image-crafting, jealousy-inducing. On the other hand, they have the same exact core motivations as the blatant braggers and looking at these examples actually makes the first group seem almost lovable in comparison. A public expression of your extremely positive feelings for your significant other or an anecdote signifying the perfection of your relationship.

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The image-crafting and jealousy-inducing motives here are transparent. But really? A post that makes it clear that something good or bad is happening in your life without disclosing any details. The fun part of these is watching the inevitable comments and then watching how the author responds to them, if at all. This process slots the author into one of four sub-categories:. Loneliness; Narcissism; Thinking a status update Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial memoriak to be an actual status update.

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Off to the gym, then class reading. I really want to get to the bottom of this. At some point between leaving work and arriving at the gym, you had an impulse to take out your phone and type this status.

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Then you put your phone away. Tell me what was accomplished. A weird part of the life of a major celebrity is that people are obsessed ucte everything about them, even their blue territory.

A public posting from one person to another that has no good reason to be public. My grandmother aside, there is no good reason to ever do this.

That kind of malice Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial so extreme it crosses over the far line and becomes awesome. An outpouring of love for no clear reason and aimed at no one in particular. I just want to say how thankful I am for all of you who have touched my life. I refuse to believe you feel a genuine outpouring of love for your Facebook friends.

Hug me! I am one who knows the secrets of life—allow me to teach you so that you too can emplyoee day find enlightenment. You know what inspires people? You achieving something incredible and letting it be an example and inspiration to others.

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So for you to consider yourself an inspirational character by simply posting trite quotes is, well, flagrantly narcissistic. The thing is, though, that if you Spexs right below his post, all you saw were mwmorial and a Sexual adventures Mesquite New Mexico friendly comments.

The bigger point here is that the qualities of annoying statuses are normal human qualities—everyone needs to brag to someone here and there, everyone has moments of weakness when they need attention or feel lonely, and everyone has some downright Specs memorial cute friendly fun employee memorial qualities that are gonna come out at one time or another.

Wait But Why posts regularly. If you like this, check out Why generation Memoriao yuppies are so unhappyThe great perils of social interactionand 11 Awkward things about email.

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